Can we bring back monogamy?

Image result for dating gif

GIF Credit: TeamCoco

Have you tried dating in today’s society? With everyone staring at their phones and the phone becoming another component in our relationships, it is no wonder everyone has trust issues and are afraid to care about someone other than themselves.

Pressure is put on women to have a certain body type with a tiny waist but with large assets, she is encouraged to adopt the ‘stay at home’ culture, but must be Instagram model worthy at all times. It is enough to say that society has always had its way in depicting how a woman is supposed to look and behave but with social media growing, images of the ‘perfect’ body are literally at our fingertips. We dissect them and compare ourselves to people’s ‘best’ photos collection, forgetting the use of lighting, angles, filters and Photoshop, resulting in insecurities being watered while self-confidence suffers a drought.

In response to the unwritten rule of men being able to do anything they want on the dating scene, women are shutting down, learning not to trust and accept they are worth less than the men they date. Though many women retreat to the safety of their guarded hearts and steer clear of the dating scene altogether some try another tactic: be as bad as the guys. This obviously isn’t healthy for anyone involved, but can you blame them?

I spoke to Gael, 24, who has started the hashtag movement ‘#settle2018’ in the hopes to encourage the youth of today to drop the façade and become open towards real relationships. He hopes to build on his hashtag movement and help this generations boys realise that treating a female with respect and decency is the manly thing to do, while teaching women to let their guard down and regain hope.

Q: What does the hashtag mean?
A: The movement is to get guys and girls to be on their best behaviour – it means we’re serious this year. No trashing around, we need to settle down, find yourself a nice partner and attach the hashtag. We need to do it.

Q: So when did you start the hashtag movement?
A: New Year 2017 – I’m not the sort of person to go out all the time, so it was my third time going out all year and I’ve tried to do the settle down thing before but I never really had the time, what with work and all. But I was talking to my friend about it, saying “this life ain’t really for me anymore, you know, going out. I really want to settle down” and he agreed, so we decided that that was the last time we were going out. The New Year is the time for us to find a partner and settle down.

Q: How long have you been promoting the hashtag?
A: Obviously the beginning of the year. It started New Year’s Eve and took full impact on the 2nd January.

Q: How many people are involved?
A: I’m trying to encourage as many people as possible to jump on the movement. At the moment I’ve got around 50 people, mostly women, some men. But I don’t like taking on the boys, because it’s harder for boys to be serious about this type of thing.

Q: Is settle 2018 important to the youth?
A: It’s important for everyone, you know. This generation: I’m not impressed with it, especially the guys. Guys find it cool to speak to multiple girls; if you speak to multiple girls, as a guy, your friends think you’re cool, like you’re the man.

Then we have girls who have just lost hope. Lost hope in good guys and they end up not letting anyone in or trying to be as bad as boys. It’s like a competition. Nowadays, boys don’t want to settle down because they are scared of the girls that are trying to be as bad as them. It’s a crazy circle, it’s just going round and round. This is how it ends. Well, it doesn’t end, but this is how it gets better.

As soon as guys find it cool to take a girl seriously, that’s when more guys will join. Remember back in the days, when a guy had a girlfriend, it wasn’t looked down upon to take the one girl seriously, but now it’s like if you do that everyone will look at you like “look at this prick”, it is what it is. If you can make guys find it cool or feel like they aren’t the minority anymore, to look after a girl, then girls will see hope and they’ll both make an effort and hopefully give 100% in to the relationship. We’re helping a generation.

Q: Have you helped anyone find love?
A: Yes. At the moment, I think we have helped about eight people. They were previously ‘talking’ but some of them were afraid to get in there. We’re giving advice, got a lot of people in the group that are very wise: wise guys, wise girls, some single, some in relationships, but they know how to give good advice.

Q: What do you gain from this?
A: Nothing really, I just spend my time helping other people and giving them my advice and of course it makes my surroundings a bit better as well. That’s what the movement is and we’re trying to make it global. #settle2018

So far in 2018, we have established that dating is hard. But I have two solutions for you: Do as the gif says and “Don’t do it” OR join Gael’s hashtag and find someone worth your while.

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